I’ve always known I want to ultimately work for myself. I constantly have this little niggle, telling me that I need to hurry-my-ass-up and come up with my million dollar idea. I know what you’re thinking; that everybody is waiting for their million dollar idea to come running up to them. But, to be honest, I really don’t think everybody is thinking that.
I’ve definitely met a lot of people who have no idea they could have a million dollar idea. Not even a million dollar idea – just the idea of working for themselves, seems so foreign to them that it doesn’t even appear on their radar at all. But to me, it is like a big, huge, fiery ball of gas that sometimes makes my brain and body feel like I am going to either dissolve into oblivion or explode into a million pieces, if I don’t hurry up and do something about it fast.
What brought this on? It’s a common occurrence, but the most concrete piece of evidence that brought on this particular blog post is the picture below.
When this photo was taken, for Viva magazine, my sister Ruth and I were trying really hard to run our own small business. When it came time to split our ‘profits’ (both of us were heading off overseas, so we had to put Ruth and Pony on a wee hiatus; we will be back) it turned out that we had been working for approximately $1 an hour for the past 6 months. But we had a freakin’ amazing time doing it. At the same time I was running my own mobile beauty therapy business, and had approximately 12 regular clients. Not enough to keep me living the high life, but somehow I managed to feed, clothe and shelter myself.
I need to do this again. My inner voice is yelling at me constantly ‘YOU ARE AN ENTREPRENEUR! START FRICKIN’ WORKING FOR YOURSELF AGAIN!’ And I desperately want to heed this advice.
I do, actually, work in a pretty cool place at the moment. I have amazingly awesome workmates and enjoy most aspects of the job. The only tough part? The fact that is takes up so much of my time! Where has my inspiration gone? I think it has been numbed, and just recently something (I can’t pinpoint exactly what, but something) has sparked it back to life and it is bloody raring to go. It’s actually quite a frustrating feeling. I can’t describe it, except that it feels like a huge ball of energy, that wants to be moulded into something physical, but that can’t be used for at least the main 8 hours of my day to day life.
This is about the time I become a workaholic. Once the actual idea has been sparked, I’ll feel a lot better. Right now though the idea hasn’t quite formed, which makes me feel like an energetic mess. I can feel it’s coming though, I guess this is an exciting feeling. All I can do is sit back and enjoy the ride – and I’ll make sure to let you know as soon as something has been formed.
Watch this space.